LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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