I wish I only lived at night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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