so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize