I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
