If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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