Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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