i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Michael Bay diarrhea
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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