ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
