Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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