So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
