I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
