who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
