11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
