I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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