What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize