she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
