What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
