'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
