Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize