Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I would ride that face into the sunset
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
