dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
