My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
