Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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