I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
