I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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