Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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