A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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