And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
