Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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