He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
