Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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