he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
