She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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