I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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