u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
