I bet he comes in French.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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