I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
