it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
