after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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