Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have fence marks all over my body
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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