How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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