In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
