Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Randomize