We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
