between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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