Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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