i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
