so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am naked and annoyed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
