i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
