It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
