i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Couch. On fire.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
