Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
