I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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