sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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