If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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