are you still at the devil's house?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
