And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
