Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
meet me or not, i'm out of control
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
