i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
