I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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